Dining with Vining
When Britain stood alone against the Hun,
With England's victory very far from won,
A thing took place that never made the news:
When Dr Vining stitched up Churchill's tubes.
They said that Churchill was dining with Vining.
Not only dining, but wining and dining.
They said that Churchill was dining with Vining,
But Vining was dining with me.
One day the PM woke and lit the day's first cigar
But, reaching for the ashtray, found he couldn't stretch far.
He pulled the cord to bring the aide-de-camp to his bed
And when the batman came in this is what Churchill said:
"They say that Eden was dining with Vining.
Not only dining, but wining and dining.
They say that Eden was dining with Vining.
But Vining was dining with me."
The butler took one look and thought: "the PM's not well."
He walked to near the fireplace where he pushed on the bell.
The doctor came and said: "He needs the best man in town."
They sent for Dr Vining but he couldn't be found.
They said that Churchill was dining with Vining.
Not only dining, but wining and dining.
They said that Churchill was dining with Vining,
But Vining was dining with me.
The PM's health then took a nasty turn for the worse.
He started firing champagne corks which hit his poor nurse.
When Vining came he said: "He's having far too much fun.
Excitement like this makes an old man's tubes come undone."
They said that Churchill was dining with Vining.
Not only dining, but wining and dining.
They said that Churchill was dining with Vining,
But Vining was dining with me.
Well, sad to say, the doctor's view was proved to be right
And Mr Churchill's tubes came all undone in the night.
As Dr Vining stitched them up he frowned and he said:
"If you don't eat less dinner you'll be soon back in bed."
They said that Churchill was dining with Vining.
Not only dining, but wining and dining.
They said that Churchill was dining with Vining,
But Vining was dining with me.
The tubes kept on unravelling until in the end
The doctor took advice from a close surgical friend.
They tied the tubes so Churchill had to hold them quite tight.
When people shook his hand they got a terrible fright.
They said that Churchill was dining with Vining.
Not only dining, but wining and dining.
They said that Churchill was dining with Vining,
But Vining was dining with me.
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